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Maxwell quotes
This page lists Maxwell's Quotes which are spoken when the player examines an in-game item or object. The player can shift-click items and objects to examine them. 'Maxwell' 'Tools' Axe- "Sometimes the direct approach is best." Luxury Axe- "It gets sharper with every cut." Shovel- "This is some real advanced techology." Regal Shovel- "This shovel is worth a princely sum." Pickaxe- "Everybody loves a little mining." Opulent Pickaxe- "This must be game logic." Razor- "If only the world had a single neck." Razor (can't shave)- "If only the world had a single neck." Razor (nothing left)- "If only the world had a single neck." Razor (Shaving a waken beefalo)- "I'm not going to try that while he's awake." Hammer- "It feels good to undo the work of others." Pitchfork- "The tool of choice for perfectionists." 'Lights' Campfire (upon being built)- "Sure beats darkness." Campfire (high)- "That will keep Charlie away for now." Campfire (normal)- "Firey." Campfire (low)- "It needs fuel." Campfire (embers)- "I'm going to lose it." Campfire (burned out)- "That's not coming back." Fire Pit (upon being built)- "Sure beats darkness." Fire Pit (high)- "A roaring fire." Fire Pit (normal)- "It's hot." Fire Pit (low)- "It's getting low." Fire Pit (embers)- "I should attend to that." Fire Pit (burned out)- "It's gone cold." Miner Hat- "Eventually the firefly will starve." Pumpkin Lantern- "Why hello, Mr. Crane." Lantern- "I hope it keeps Them away." Torch- "It keeps Charlie at bay." 'Survival' Backpack- "I wish there were porters around here." Piggyback- "Oh that's just demeaning." Bird Trap- "They keep falling for it!" Bug Net- "Good for capturing defenseless insects." Fishing Rod- "I will eat for a lifetime." Healing Salve- "Just a bit of venom and some dirty old ash." Honey Poultice- "Sticky and gooey and good for putting on booboos." Heat Stone- "A pocketful of heat." Heat Stone (cold)- "A pocketful of heat." Heat Stone (warm)- "Comfortably warm." Heat Stone (hot)- " It's almost too hot to hold." Strawroll- "I don't like sleeping rough." Tent- "That's a bit rustic for my taste." Trap- "Only the dumbest animals will fall for this." Umbrella- "It's crooked!" 'Food' Crock Pot- "Just the thought makes my mouth water." Crock Pot (cooking, long time left)- "Wait for it..." Crock Pot (cooking, short time left)- "Here it comes!" Crock Pot (finished)- "Finally, some quality grub." Crock Pot (failed to add item)- "That can't go in there." Farm Plot, Speedy Farm Plot and Turbo Farm Plot- "Do I look like a farmer?" Farm Plot, Speedy Farm Plot and Turbo Farm Plot (growing)- "It's growing." Farm Plot, Speedy Farm Plot and Turbo Farm Plot (needs fertilizer)- "Needs manure." Ice Box- "A little piece of winter in a box." Drying Rack- "I can dry meats so that they last longer." Drying Rack (drying)- "Still moist." Drying Rack (finished)- "Like the desert." 'Science' Science Machine- "I can't believe I forgot how to build these things." Alchemy Engine- "It unlocks recipies of middling utility." Shadow Manipulator- "This is where I do my own personal research." Winter-O-Meter- "Not the most usefull invention isn't it?" Rainometer- "I could also just look up to learn the same thing." Lighting Rod- "A little bit of protection!" Gunpowder- "Now this, I like." 'Fight' Spear- "It's a spear. Yup." Ham Bat- "An undignified weapon for a less refined time." Boomerang- "Beats getting your hands messy." Boomerang (hit self)- "OW! Clumsy!" Blow Dart- "It's a... thing." Sleep Dart- "Call me Mr. Sandman." Fire Dart- "Just make sure to breathe out." Football Helmet- "Now I am ready for the scrimmage." Grass Suit- "Direct confrontation is quite gauche." Log Suit- "Ugh, I'm not one for such vulgar fisticuffs." Marble Suit- "That really isn't my style." Bee Mine- "They wait so patiently." Tooth Trap- "This one packs a punch." 'Structures' Bee Box- "It holds my bees." Birdcage- "You'll never get me behind bars again." Birdcage (occupied)- "I feel for ya, feathers." Birdcage (occupied, sleeping)- "You'll still be in there when you wake up." Pig House- "That's like their only trick." Pig House (occupied and lights are off)- "I'll huff and I'll puff!" Pig House (occupied and lights are on)- "I'd go inside too, if I was him." Rabbit Hutch- "Oh, isn't that clever." Hay Wall (placed)- "It's a tinderbox." Wood Wall (placed)- "Moderately tough, but flammable!" Stone Wall (placed)- "This will keep the riff-raff out." Walls (inventory)- "Pocket-sized wall pieces. Yup." Chest- "A place to store loot." Sign- "It says... nothing." 'Turfs' Cobblestones- "At least this one is useful." Wooden Flooring- "I prefer hardwoods." Checkerboard Flooring- "That's my natural habitat." Carpet Flooring- "That's a quality, high-pile carpet sample!" Grass Turf- "Scratchy." Marsh Turf- "It's dripping all over." Savannah Turf- "Dirty." Forest Turf- "Smells like mud." Rocky Turf- "Kinda rough." Fungal Turf- "Turf." Guano Turf- "It's a... thing." 'Refine' Rope- "You'd think this would have more uses." Boards- "Roughly hewn." Cut Stone- "The building blocks of civilization." Papyrus- "A blank canvas." Purple Gem- "Purple brings great power." Nightmare Fuel- "Ahhh. Refreshing." 'Magic' Meat Effigy- "I'm not above using this." Pan Flute- "I'm going to sing a song of madness." Amulet- "It channels the darkest energies of the universe." One-man Band- "It has a good beat and you can dance to it." Night Light- "It burns with a beautiful glow." Night Armour- "Time to wrap myself in nightmares." Dark Sword- "Snicker-snack!" Ice Staff- "It's a... thing." Fire Staff- "A basic enchantment, but effective." 'Dress' Strawhat- "A hat fit for a peasant." Beefalo Hat- "How unfashionable." Beekeeper Hat- "I'll wear it if I have to." Feather Hat- "I will lure them in with my plumage." Winter Hat- "How disappointingly rustic." Top Hat- "Some fine haberdashery." Walking Stick- "It has pictures of fast things carved into it." Dapper Vest- "It's a... thing." Breezy Vest- "It's more of a fall vest." Puffy Vest- "It's so hard to look fashionable in the winter." Bush Hat- "There's room in there for me." Garland- "Definetly not my style." Rabbit Earmuffs- "They are at least warm." Sewing Kit- "A fine and noble endeavour." 'Nature - Plants' Evergreen- "I've heard them described as 'piney'." Evergreen (chopped)- "That's not about to grow back." Evergreen (burning)- "Oops." Evergreen (burnt)- "Ashes to ashes." Log- "It's a piece of wood, what more is there to say?" Log (burning)- "Well, that was fun while it lasted." Charcoal- "Nothing will steal my carbon!" Pinecone- "A more outdoorsy type might be able to make something of this." Baby Evergreen "A more outdoorsy type might be able to make something of this." Spiky Tree- "A tree with a foul demeanor." Spiky Tree (chopped)- "Tree 0, Maxwell 1." Spiky Tree (burning)- "There it goes." Spiky Tree (burnt)- "It's no use to anyone now." Lumpy Evergreen- "It looks sickly." Sapling- "A supple, woody stem." Sapling (picked)- "It'll grow back." Sapling (burning)- "Oops." Sapling (picked up)- "Do I look like a gardener?" Twigs- "Common, but useful." Grass- "Tufty." Grass (picked)- "Already harvested." Grass (barren)- "Needs manure." Grass (burning)- "Oops." Grass Tuft- "Do I look like a gardener?" Cut Grass- "The mundane stuff of the earth." Berry Bush- "Reduced to eating berries. Sigh." Berry Bush (picked)- "And now we wait." Berry Bush (barren)- "It needs manure." Berry Bush (picked up)- "Do I look like a gardener?" Reeds- "There's wind in them there willows." Reeds (picked)- "No more tubes." Reeds (burning)-."Oops." Cut reeds- "I think I could build something useful from this." Plant- "Leafy!" Plant (growing)- "It's growing." Plant (ready to be picked)- "It's ready." Marsh Plant- "What a generic little plant." Spiky Bush- "It's twisted and thorny, just like me!" Spiky Bush(after picking)- "I scratched my arms up doing this." Flower- "I am filled with the irrational urge to stomp upon it." Petals- "Like so much confetti." Evil Flower- "I like that flower." Dark Petals- "It's dripping with nightmare essence." Red Mushroom (unpicked)- "It's a red mushroom." Red Mushroom (unpicked, sleeping)- "I'll have to come back for it." Red Mushroom (picked)- "It's all used up." Green Mushroom (unpicked)- "Green Fungus." Green Mushroom (unpicked, sleeping)- "When do those ones come up?" Green Mushroom (picked)- "Been there, done that." Blue Mushroom (unpicked)- "The blue ones are good for something." Blue Mushroom (unpicked, sleeping)- "It's not ready." Blue Mushroom (picked)- "Another time, maybe?" 'Nature - Objects' Bee Hive- "Not the bees!" Honeycomb- "It's full of bee seeds" Boulder- "It's a rock." Rocks- "Hmmm. Now what do I do with them?" Flint- "Ow! I cut my finger!." Gold Nugget- "This was important to me once." Nitre- "One third of the way there..." Graves Headstone (1)- "It says milk. Eggs. Bacon." Headstone (2)- "Here lies some guy. Blah blah blah." Headstone (3)- "Hey, that's my name!" Headstone (4)- "This headstone is blank." Grave- "What lies beneath?" Grave (dug)- "Already got that one." Koalefant tracks Suspicious Dirt Pile- "That looks out-of-place." Animal Tracks- "Some dumb beast passed through here." Wooden thing Wooden Thing- "My beautiful machine is in pieces!" Wooden Thing (partially assembled)- "It is still incomplete." Wooden Thing (fully assembled)- "It's alive!" Ring Thing- "This is the quantum field guard band." Crank Thing- "This is used to agitate the humours." Box Thing- "This is a box full of sadness and woe." Metal Potato Thing- "The gears in here are so small they turn the fabric of reality." Wormhole Wormhole (closed)- "It's worse knowing what the other part looks like." Wormhole (open)- "I can assure you that it smells worse than it looks." Wormhole (exited)- "Yech. It's horrible in there." Pond- "I can see my face reflected off the top." Spider Den- "They grow big here." Spider Egg- "Squishy." Rabbit Hole- "There's a world going on under there." Nature - Caves Stalagmites- "Rocks. How dull." Spilagmites- "How did that get down here?" Mushtree- "It smells of rot and failure." Light Flower- "It's so dark down here." Light Bulb- "It will run out eventually." Earthquake- "That doesn't sound good." Mobs - Monsters Hounds Hound- "They don't recognise me!" Fire Hound- "I put fire gems in there as a joke." Ice Hound- "I had a lot of surplus gems!" Red gem- "Red brings fire." Ice gem- "Blue brings ice." Hound's Tooth- "It's a... thing." Spiders Spider- "It's mostly digestive system." Spider (sleeping)- "Sssh! It will wake up hungry." Spider (dead)- "Haha!" Spider Warrior- "It's a specialized form." Spider Warrior (sleeping)- "I don't want to wake that one." Spider Warrior (dead)- "Good riddance!" Cave Spider- "It's a tricky one." Spitter- "Aggressive little thing, isn't it? Silk- "Despite it's origin, it could make some fine garments." Krampus Krampus- "You won't catch me!" Krampus Sack- "It's really light." Tentacle Tentacle- "I'm glad the rest of it is down there." Tentacle Spike- "Ugh. This is so revolting." Tentacle spots- "This is how they reproduce." Werepig- "That one's gone feral." Ghost- "It remembers me!" Walrus Mactusk- "Don't you recognise me?." Weetusk- "A chip off the old block." Walrus Camp- "The Walrusser can't be far." Walrus Camp (Summer)- "I best not linger when winter comes." Walrus Tusk- "I'll put this to better use." Tam o' Shanter- "Made in Scotland." Mosquito Mosquito- "Bloody blood sucking blood suckers." Mosquito (picked up)- "I got him." Slurtle Slurtle- "I don't remember that being down here." Snurtle- "That's strange. That must be new." Slurtle Slime- "There must be a better way." Broken Shell- "They don't fit back together." Slurtle Mound- "That's revolting." Snurtle Shell Armor- "That's not dapper at all." Batilisk- "Ugh. Ugly beasts." 'Mobs - Neutral Animals' Beefalo Beefalo- "Just look at that stupid beast." Beefalo (sleeping)- "It's only marginally less stupid when it's asleep." Beefalo (shaved)- "Now it looks dumb AND pathetic." Beefalo Wool- "It smells like a barn." Beefalo Horn- "Call forth the beasts!" Baby Beefalo- "They're even ugly as children." Bee Bee- "They work so hard, the fools." Bee (picked up)- "Now what do I do with it?" Killer Bee- "What is that bee so angry about?" Killer bee (picked up)- "I've caught a tiger by the tail." Stinger- "It's dripping with venom." Pig Pig- "What a slobbering fool." Pig (following)- "He's simple but he's mine." Pig Skin- "It was him or me." Bunnymen Bunnyman- "It reminds me of my old act." Frog Frog- "It jumps and licks things." Frog (sleeping)- "It looks tired." Koalefant Koalefant- "A distant cousin of the beefalo." Winter Koalefant- "It has it's winter coat on." 'Mobs - Passive Animals' Butterfly Butterfly- "It's a flying flower." Butterfly (picked up)- "It would be a shame if someone ripped the wings off you." Birds Crow- "I don't know how they got here." Crow (picked up)- "Shhhh... My pretty." Crow Feather- "Black is the colour of sleep." Redbird- "The redbird comes from the firelands." Redbird (picked up)- "Silence, bird!" Redbird Feather- "Red is the color of fire." Snow bird- "I don't recognise that one." Snowbird (picked up)- "Quiet, you." Snowbird Feather- "Grey is the colour of pain." Gobbler- "It's addicted to fermented berries." Chester Eye Bone- "Stop looking at me!" Eye Bone (Chester dead, eye closed)- "What is it waiting for?" Ashes of Eye Bone- Chester- "Annoying little monster. He has his uses, though." Rabbit Rabbit- "I've been here too long - It actually looks tasty." Rabbit (picked up)- "Don't worry, rabbit. Everything is under control." Fireflies Fireflies- "How pretty." Fireflies (picked up)- "I could squish them if I wanted to." Mandrake Mandrake- "Oh shut UP, will you?" Mandrake (following)- "What a disturbing root." Mandrake (dead)- "My ears are still ringing." Mandrake (cooked)- "It has lost a lot of its power." 'Mobs - Tallbird family' Tallbird Tallbird- These were a failed experiment. Tallbird Nest (empty)- It's made of dirty beefalo hair. Tallbird Nest (with egg)- "Well. That's tempting." Tallbird egg Tallbird Egg- Tallbirds are territorial because of these things. Tallbird Egg (cooked)- It tastes like broken dreams. Hatching Tallbird Egg- We've got a live one here. Hatching Tallbird Egg (dead, eating the egg)- That tastes about as good as you would expect. Hatching Tallbird Egg (too hot)- Hot enough for ya? Hatching Tallbird Egg (too cold)- It's getting tepid. Hatching Tallbird Egg (long time left)- Hatching Tallbird Egg (short time left)- Smallbird Smallbird- What!? What do you want? Smallbird (hungry)- You want some food? Smallbird (starving)- Smallish Tallbird Smallish Tallbird- Smallish Tallbird (hungry)- Smallish Tallbird (starving, attacking)- 'Mobs - Bosses' Deerclops Deerclops- "Even I am afraid of that guy." Deerclops Eye- "Deerclops are myopic" Treeguard (Leif)- "Disgusting creature!" Spider Queen- "Maybe I'll just get out of her way." Spider Hat- "Spiders have such malleable wills." 'Mobs - Other' Maxwell- "Lookin good !" Tooth trap (Maxwells)- Beemine (Maxwells)- Pig King- "That's a man with his priorities in order!" Abigail- "Why just these mortals stay dead ?" 'Food - Meats' Monster Meat- "How revolting." Cooked Monster Meat- "I'll eat it if I have to." Monster Jerky- "My teeth are getting too old for this." Meat- "I'm used to much finer fare." Cooked meat- "It smells less like barnyard, now." Jerky- "My teeth are getting too old for this." Drumstick- "It tastes strangely like berries." Fried Drumstick- "Still tastes like berries." Fish- "Fresh from the murky depths." Cooked Fish- "It still stinks" Morsel- "This is barely a mouthful." Cooked Morsel- "Well, at least it's not moving anymore" Koalefant Trunk- "Full of summer mucus." Winter Koalefant Trunk- "The trunk thickens in the winter to hold more mucus." Koalefant Trunk Steak- "At least the mucus burned off." Frog Legs- "Muscular." Cooked Frog Legs- "Stringy." Batilisk Wing- "I'm not eating that." Cooked Batilisk Wing- "I'm still not eating that." 'Food - Fruits' Pomegranate- "Usually I'd get someone to seed this for me" Sliced Pomegranate- "A little more refined, at least." Durian- "It's an aquired taste." Extra Smelly Durian- "A little more refined, at least." Dragon Fruit- "Exotic and delicious." Prepared Dragon Fruit- "A little more refined, at least." Berries- "Sigh, if I have to." Roasted Berries- "A little more refined, at least" 'Food - Vegetables' Corn- "High in fructose." Popcorn- "A little more refined, at least." Carrot (in the ground)- "How mundane." Carrot (picked up)- "I'm not a fan of vegetables." Roasted Carrot- "A little more refined, at least." Pumpkin- "Halowe'en was always my favourite." Hot Pumpkin- "A little more refined, at least." Eggplant- "Just another boring plant." Braised Eggplant- "A little more refined, at least." Red Mushroom- "I forget what this one does." Cooked Red Cap- "Kind of bitter." Green Mushroom- "I should eat it." Cooked Green Cap- "Salty!" Blue Mushroom- "What could go wrong?" Cooked Blue Cap- "Umami!" 'Food - Crock Pot' Mandrake Soup- "My compliments to the chef!" Turkey Dinner- "How Festive." Powdercake- "What foul product of science is this?" Most recipes- "My compliments to the chef!" 'Food - Other' Seeds- "I suppose these won't plant themselves." Seeds (carrot seeds, pumpkin seeds etc)- "This labour is beneath me." Roasted Seeds- "I broiled the life out of 'em." Honey- "Sticky and sweet." Petals- "Like so much confetti." Butterfly Wings- "Ha ha ha. I got him!" Butter- "Some puns are irresistible." Egg- "I like to think of it as a baby bird prison." Cooked Egg- "Sunny side up." Rot- "That used to be food until I wasted it." 'Misc Items' Purple Gem- "Purple brings great power." Beard Hair- "Hirsute." Manure- "It's the way of all mortal life." Guano- "Disgusting!" Graveyard Trinkets Melty Marbles - "This was important to someone once." Fake Kazoo - Gord's Knot - "This was important to someone once." Gnome - "This was important to someone once." Tiny Rocketship - "This was important to someone once." Frazzled Wires - "This was important to someone once." Ball and Cup - "This was important to someone once." Hardened Rubber Bung - "This was important to someone once." Mismatched Buttons - "This was important to someone once." Second-hand Dentures - "This was important to someone once." Lying robot - "This was important to someone once." Dessicated Tentacle - "This was important to someone once." 'Announcements' Generic- Battlecry- "To arms!" Battlecry (on prey)- "You look tasty!" Battlecry (Pig)- Battlecry (Spider)- Battlecry (Warrior Spider)- Leaving combat- Leaving combat (prey)- Leaving combat (Pig)- Leaving combat (Spider)- Leaving combat (Spider warrior)- Torch (run out)- "Dang it. Another torch down." Boomerang (hit self)- "OW! Clumsy!" Dusk- "It'll be dark soon. Charlie will be waking up." Entering light- "The light is back." Entering darkness- "It's dark! I can't see!" Doing things in the dark- Failed to do something- Failed to craft something- Trying to sleep during the day- "I can't sleep in the day." Trying sleep near monsters- "Not while there's danger afoot!" Knocked out- "Ugh, my head!" Grue- "Charlie? Is that you? It's me! Maxwell!" Grue (hurt by)- "OW Charlie! That hurt." Pecked- Hounds are coming- "The hounds are getting restless." Inventory full- "My pockets are full." Eating (spoiled food)- "That was putrid." Eating (stale food)- "That was past its due-date." Eating (painful food)- "Ow! That hurt my mouth." Hungry- "I am empty inside." Exiting a Wormhole- "Yech. It's horrible in there." Koalefant (lost its trail)- "Drat! It got away." Koalefant (found)- "I smell dung and beast-sweat." Category:Character Quotes